I'm grateful to the bright young sparks who produce the "Local Laowai" video series, particularly their multi-part lesson on Chinese banquets.  Thanks to that series, I learned that there are protocols for the seating arrangements, eating the food (or course) and most importantly, toasting.  If I'd walked into a Chinese banquet without this background, it would have been a less enjoyable experience. But with the help of the video series, I survived several bouts of enthusiastic toasting, including events where I was the guest of honor. I've since learned more about how to toast and when to toast.  

The first thing to bear in mind, whether you're drinking beer, wine or baiju, is that  you don't sip your drink casually at a banquet. The alcoholic drink is reserved for toasting only. It's easy to absent-mindedly pick up your little beer glass or wine glass instead of the glass of tea or hot water that has been provided, but if you do, you'll likely set off another round of unplanned toasting which will lead to more toasting, and pretty soon the room is spinning like the lazy susan on the banquet table. 

Just as in the West, the drinking of a toast is preceded by a short speech.  The host makes the first toast of the evening. I was told that toasts come in pairs, but this means that the host will make another toast. The guest of honor does not respond to the toast right away. Once the host has kicked things off, another person may make a toast, to and for the entire table of diners, or one person can toast one other person.  In that case, the toaster gets up from his chair and walks around the banquet table to the toastee, who also stands up. Short speeches are made, glasses are clinked and the toast is drunk.  The toaster can challenge the toastee to empty their glass (gambei!) but if someone can't or doesn't want to drink very much, they can always say so, although in a business situation, this may be a losing tactic.

From what I've seen, a Chinese lady executive is expected to hold her own at the banqueting table and match her male counterparts drink for drink. That said, whatever the Chinese culture is, I'm not comfortable with females drinking like men.

If the idea of having to participate in a drinking ritual/challenge is disconcerting for you, be reassured that the glasses are small and the beer is weaker than Canadian beer. So if you drink six toasts with beer in your glass, you've probably just had one can of beer. However it's hard to keep track because the instant your glass is empty, or even half-empty, it will be filled again.  

To show respect to the person you're toasting, clink with the rim of your glass lower than the rim of their glass. (Watch the "Local Laowai" series for a demonstration of this).  After I had "clinked low" a couple of times with one of my Chinese hosts, he realized this was not just a coincidence, and he was  impressed that I knew about this point of etiquette. 

At the banquets where I found myself being repeatedly toasted, I was able to stick with beer and avoid the baiju.  Baiju is a strong distilled alcohol beverage.  I've had a few sips of it (grimace) and I'm told it's an acquired taste. You can buy it in tiny little green bottles very cheaply and there are also very expensive versions.

Ross has been to two banquet luncheons since his arrival here two weeks ago. The most recent one was a birthday party put on by our neighbors. So there we were at the head table, with six adult male relatives of the host, all of them grinning at Ross and wondering how the foreigner would acquit himself.  Another reason I'm glad he's here -- he can do most of the toasting honors from now on.

This was my picture of Ross in retirement -- no, not the picture of him holding a "Hello, Kitty" coffee mug and wearing a silk bathrobe -- [which has been removed from the blog at his request -- fair enough] -- I mean my mental picture, as follows:

I figured he would get up early, have some coffee, and then, wearing only shorts, step outside to look at the thermometer on the deck, then come inside where I am washing the dishes, and tell me what the temperature is according to the thermometer on the deck.  

And of course he would have his fishing and golfing.

But I've upended his life and when he stepped on the plane to fly to China, he "officially" retired. Here in Zibo, he may be able to do a little fishing. Golfing is very expensive and unless he is befriended by some very wealthy folks, he's unlikely to set foot on the golf course. It's too hot right now, anyway.  He's also given up driving, at least for the time being. He's no longer the guy behind the wheel but a passenger, another change of lifetime habits.

The changes to his life don't stop there. Anyone who knows Ross's domestic arrangements knows that it was his invariable habit to lie on the sofa, Dagwood style, to watch television or nap. He worked hard, so in his private hours he follows Winston Churchill's dictum: "Never stand up when you can sit down. And never sit down when you can lie down.” The sofa was his turf, and it was for reclining, not sitting. This was his daily habit for twenty-plus years.  I stress, every day he was at home, for twenty-plus years, he used the sofa.

Habits so firmly entrenched, we are told, are hard to break.

Now, look at this sofa. Looks harmless, doesn't it?  Appearances can be deceiving. See the nice fluffy quilt I put on it?  It doesn't help. Like me, Ross now spends his evening sitting in a chair either with his laptop or with a book, That is how monumentally uncomfortable this sofa is. This is the sofa that broke the habit of twenty years. 

Ross just bought a used bike at the second-hand market and now we can go out and explore the city together in the cool of the evening. Oh, and Ross also bought a thermometer, which hangs in the apartment. We have no deck.

I wasn't in Zibo long before I was advised to check out Yi Wu Market -- the place to go for bargain-hunting.  For anything -- clothes, shoes, purses, toys, hardware, housewares, fabric, cosmetics, art, glitter, wicker, if you can't find it at Yi Wu, you probably can't find it. (Of course most Chinese people shop online, but if you prefer the thrill of the hunt in person, Yi Wu is a first stop for most shoppers). 

Yi WU takes up two large multi-storey buildings and it's filled with individual shops and booths. This picture was taken with my little cell phone camera looking down from the second storey (children's toys, clothes, stationery) to the main floor (clothes). Those are large tables of snacks in the lobby there. 

Escalators in Yi Wu go only one way -- up. The third floor is furniture, hardware and housewares. The fourth floor, or as I like to call it, the Triangle Shirtwaist Fire floor, is dry goods.  Tucked into unexpected corners are furniture stores and stores selling jade, jewelery, pearls, household shrines, massages, eye glasses, and on and on.

And there is fast food, too. Squid balls dressed with shaved fish. The Zibo version of an Egg McMuffin, fried flatbread with egg and vegetables. Green tea -flavored ice cream. Candied crab apples on a stick. Noodles and milky tea.

When I went to YiWu a few times a month during my first months here, I would sometimes picture the day when I'd bring Ross to this place and I hoped that, even though he's not a big shopper, he would enjoy it as well.  Well, yes he does. There is something about the vibe of the place that is like a laid back swap meet or something. You don't have merchants chasing after you the way they do at the Silk Market in Beijing. 

Everyone tells me that YiWu is a place for haggling. I think the merchants take a sterner line with laowai, figuring that we Westerners have lots of money and why should they trim their profit margins?  And, fundamentally, I agree with them. I doubt these merchants are going to have the chance to travel as I've done, or enjoy the Western lifestyle I enjoy. Why should I beat them down on price?  If I think the price is fair, I don't haggle. For example, Ross just bought a carved wooden walking stick for 30 yuan. That's $5.19 Canadian. Why should we try and force the price down another few yuan?

Even back at home I used to have trouble navigating the biggest shopping mall in town. I always felt like I was in Harry Potter's Hogwarts School -- surely corridors were shifting as I passed through and I'd always end up where I didn't expect to be. Yi Wu is even more so -- every time I enter, I find a new corner I hadn't seen before, selling merchandise I didn't know about. Finding my way back to a stall I've been to before is very much hit-and-miss. But, I've decided, that is part of the experience.

In addition to the "Dream" theme of summer camp, we also had a segment on Confucius, who lived not far from Zibo. As I mentioned in part one, I also used a video about the computer game Minecraft which many teachers and ESL teachers are using for its educational potential. For the Confucius exercise, I prepared a PowerPoint with three sayings on each screen and asked the students, "Who said it? Confucius, Martin Luther King, or Minecraft?"  Sort of a Minecraft in-joke for the kids. For example:

• Knowledge is recognizing what you know and what you don't.
  
• Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.
  
• It is not enough to have a good pickaxe; the main thing is to use it well
  

Or another set of three:

• The time is always right to do what is right.
  
• In the end, you know it's all just blocks.
  
• I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.
  

Even though the classroom for the summer camp was held in the newest part of the school, with air conditioning, I often felt disheveled, sweaty and awkward up in front of the class. I really came to appreciate the movie we showed the kids, a movie that stayed with the theme of following your dreams, Kung Fu Panda.  It features a big, awkward but well-meaning panda living in a village populated by much smaller animals. 

This feeling of being a clumsy red-faced foreigner was the worst on the last day of summer camp, when the Power point I had prepared about the "I Have a Dream" speech refused to work. I had matched short clips of excerpts from the speech with words and pictures and in fact had stayed up late getting it ready. And now it didn't work and I didn't know why. And the heat felt stifling, even with the air conditioning. And the kids were tired too and clearly not that interested in studying the "I Have a Dream" Speech at that point.  Oh well, got through the lesson somehow and I felt very disappointed with myself that I didn't have a good Plan B up my sleeve or better activities for the kids for that last lesson. 

Two days later, the teachers held the "closing ceremony" for the camp. I think the Chinese are pretty big on pomp and circumstance but perhaps I lack a basis for comparison. Anyway, I was asked to be there but I had no idea that I was the center of attention at this ceremony.  Because foreign teachers are so hard to come by around here, it seems my participation in the summer camp was a big deal.

In the ESL teacher forums, I have read that sometimes you can get a swelled head living abroad. If you are a native English speaker, you can get a job, in fact, you can get lots of job offers.  Well, they made such a fuss over me at this closing ceremony, it was enough to turn anyone's head. The kids came up in groups and thanked and hugged me.  A group of boys got together and presented me with a stuffed panda. 

And when a shy little girl slips her arm around your neck and whispers, "I love you," how can you not get a little choked up?