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Foreigner TV, part two

6/28/2014

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PictureOpera singers perform by canal
In an earlier post, I described how I traveled around like a celebrity, visiting interesting places and eating banquets, for a television program about foreigners in Shandong Province.   Last Tuesday, the celebrity bus came to pick me up at quarter after six and we went to the provincial capital, Jinan, about an hour and a half away. There we met up with a flock of foreigners, representing the other six nearby cities involved in this effort, and a full complement of dignitaries, such as the vice-governor of the province, and scads of cameramen and photographers.  Together, we toured beautiful Danming Lake, fed by underground springs and home to the largest water lilies I've ever seen. 

Some other highlights -- listening to the members of the Greater Jinan Peking Opera Society performing in the open air, (at least I presume that's who they were -- I loved them), listening to a man in traditional scholar's garb declaim some poetry (awesome), and touring a traditional Chinese courtyard home. Followed of course by a bountiful lunch... 

PicturePoetry performer
But as wonderful as all this was, I was getting increasingly quiet and tense, because I knew that in a few hours, we'd all be going to the television station to film the grand finale of 2014 Foreigners' Views on Urban Economic Circle of Shandong Capital City Cluster.  (That's the name of the show.)  And there, at the TV station, I was to sing a Chinese folk song, Jasmine Flower -- in Chinese.  The foreign office had heard me singing while joking around with the director and thought it would be a nice touch for me, the foreigner, to sing this well-loved folk song. Here's a version of the song by a famous Chinese soprano, joined by Celine Dion. Personally, I loathe what La Dion does to the song, starting with her ululations at 1:55.  I prefer this version sung by Peng LiYuan, who in addition to being a highly respected folk singer, is also China's "First Lady," the wife of General Secretary Xi Jinping.

The prospect of singing didn't bother me much, but memorizing a random assortment of sounds, some of which include phonemes we just don't have in English, proved to be a daunting task. My students at the school were very encouraging and coached me on my pronunciation and urged me not to be nervous. But I was still trying to nail it down in my head as we traveled to the television station, which was quite a large and glamorous building. We were sent to have our hair and make up done and then, of course there was a last bathroom break before going to the set. 

PictureMe with Director John
I've adapted pretty well to the Chinese squat toilet but on this day I discovered a latent hazard; because the toilet is basically a basin in the floor, you had better not trip or misstep on your exit from the stall. My foot slipped as I turned to go out and started to slide into the toilet and I was worried that I'd sprain my ankle or something.  I found myself crashing backwards out of the stall with my arms flailing wildly. Luckily I recovered my balance in time and soon recovered my composure.  But maybe this is why someone decided that, given my utter lack of grace or coordination, I would not make my entrance on the set as the other foreigners did.  They walked through a sliding wall and down a steep flight of illuminated stairs with no handrail. But I was told to just walk in from the side of the stage. Good thing, too. Instead of gracefully floating down those stairs, I would have descended like an old woman getting off a bus. Not exactly Gwyneth Paltrow making an entrance to announce the nominees for Best Actress.

We were ushered into a TV studio with a small live audience and a host and hostess who appeared to be Jinan's version of Regis and Kathy Lee. I was glad to see the TV people I'd spent three days with, especially director John. He's younger than my sons and if I could, I'd feed him one almighty stack of pancakes and bacon. The seven featured foreigners, including me, were introduced one at a time for some light banter and, in my case, singing. While I didn't manage it perfectly, I didn't have a meltdown either and the audience clapped along and seemed to appreciate the effort. (Afterwards, another foreigner told me he was very impressed that I'd managed to do that after only three months in the country). 

However, don't think that I was the highlight of the show. As W.C. Fields said, never work with children or animals. An American man appeared with his two young sons, both of whom can speak Mandarin and one played the erhu.  So.

The TV people and the dignitaries and the administrators from the school all seemed very pleased with how everything went. There was one last celebratory banquet (I will talk about banquets and toasting at some point), and then it was back home to get ready for another school day.

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    More about me here. My earlier posts (prior to June 2017) are about my time as a teacher of ESL in China,(just click on "China" in the menu below.) more recent posts focus on my writing, as well as Jane Austen and the long 18th century. Welcome!


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