| Clutching My Pearls is my ongoing blog series about my take on Jane Austen’s beliefs and ideas, as based on her novels. When I say "my take," I very much doubt that I could find anything new or different to say about Austen, not after her admirers have written so much. But I am not trying to be new, rather I am pushing back at post-modern portrayals of Austen as a radical feminist. Click here for the first in the series. |
CMP#105 "Lady--Wife--Mother!" To Bear and Forbear
Helen Burns in Jane Eyre: "the Bible bids us return good for evil." In my previous post, I introduced a type of character I called the "bear and forbear" heroine. This is a girl or woman who endures hardship and suffering and is tolerant and forgiving--not out of weakness, but out of personal conviction. I mentioned the medieval character of Patient Griselda as an archetype of this character. We meet some Griseldesque (if that's a word) characters in the literature of the 18th and 19th century. Both male and female authors created Griselda-like girls and wives.
In Jane Eyre, the rebellious main character is contrasted with the gentle and forbearing Helen Burns. Jane listens to what Helen tells her about turning the other cheek, she acknowledges Helen's goodness, but she cannot be another Helen in meekness. Helen is supposedly modelled on Maria Brontë, the oldest of the five Brontë sisters.
Many forbearing characters were wives and mothers who are placed in the novel so as to be good examples for the young heroines: In The Denial, or the Happy Retreat (1792), by the Rev. James Thomson, Lady Wilton's husband was chosen for her by her parents. Lord Wilton has not treated her well; in fact he is a tyrant to her and their children. She carries out her wifely duties and conducts herself so as to be above reproach. She advises her daughter to study to please her husband and "even if you do not meet with a reciprocation of tendernesses and good offices, remember, and let me caution you, that it is still your indispensable duty to act your part with cheerfulness and good nature; for the errors of the husband are no precedents to the wife; and retaliation will certainly render you contemptible here and miserable hereafter.” ...
In Jane Eyre, the rebellious main character is contrasted with the gentle and forbearing Helen Burns. Jane listens to what Helen tells her about turning the other cheek, she acknowledges Helen's goodness, but she cannot be another Helen in meekness. Helen is supposedly modelled on Maria Brontë, the oldest of the five Brontë sisters.
Many forbearing characters were wives and mothers who are placed in the novel so as to be good examples for the young heroines: In The Denial, or the Happy Retreat (1792), by the Rev. James Thomson, Lady Wilton's husband was chosen for her by her parents. Lord Wilton has not treated her well; in fact he is a tyrant to her and their children. She carries out her wifely duties and conducts herself so as to be above reproach. She advises her daughter to study to please her husband and "even if you do not meet with a reciprocation of tendernesses and good offices, remember, and let me caution you, that it is still your indispensable duty to act your part with cheerfulness and good nature; for the errors of the husband are no precedents to the wife; and retaliation will certainly render you contemptible here and miserable hereafter.” ...
Thaddeus rescues Lady Tinemouth In Anna, or, the Memoirs of a Welch Heiress (1785), the mother of the hero bears with a profligate husband who spends the family fortune and neglects her in favour of his mistresses. He gives her venereal disease. The narrator explains, “Mrs. Herbert, as I informed my reader, had long lived on terms of the most miserable distrust of a husband she tenderly and passionately loved; --Still he offended, and still he was forgiven; till the consequence of his indelicate connections had injured her health –from that period she declined his bed; and his conduct since had been so little adapted to heal the shock her virtuous love for him had received, that she had gradually felt herself superior to the man who was continually wounding her pride and affection.”
Eventually, Mr. Herbert is arrested for debt and thrown into prison. Her grown children plan to return to Wales, but she insists on staying in London: “Mrs. Herbert declined accompanying them; she had hitherto fulfilled, to the utmost of her power, her conjugal duties, now could she now, in the hour of distress, notwithstanding his libertine conduct, prevail on herself to desert her husband. He had forbid her coming to him, but she chose to stay within reach of serving the father of her children.”
Lady Tinemouth, a motherly character in Jane Porter's Thaddeus of Warsaw, (1802) meekly submits when her husband wrongfully accuses her of improper conduct, thinking that the handsome stranger she met in Hyde Park must be a lover. In fact it is a down-on-his-luck Polish nobleman who has rescued her from being robbed. Her husband orders her to leave London, or else he will tell their daughter that she is a fallen woman. The heroine, Mary Beaufort, condoles with her: "It is indeed horrible; and what do you mean to do, my honored friend?"
"I will obey my lord!" returned the countess, with a meek but firm emphasis. "My last action will be in obedience to his will. I cannot live long; and when I am dead, perhaps the earl's vigilance may be satisfied; perhaps some kind friend may then plead my cause to my daughter's heart. One cruel line from her would kill me. I will at least avoid the completion of that threat, by leaving town to-morrow night."
One of Amelia Opie's heroines patiently puts up with her husband's philandering and helps pay off his debts, only to be accused by him of being obnoxiously patient and forbearing: "my parading kindness, my intruding virtue were offensive. I had humbled him; I had obliged him too much. I had towered over him in the superiority of my character; and instead of attaching, I had alienated him. This was human nature-- I saw it, I owned it now, but I was not prepared for it." (A Woman's Love/A Wife's Duty, 1820)
Eventually, Mr. Herbert is arrested for debt and thrown into prison. Her grown children plan to return to Wales, but she insists on staying in London: “Mrs. Herbert declined accompanying them; she had hitherto fulfilled, to the utmost of her power, her conjugal duties, now could she now, in the hour of distress, notwithstanding his libertine conduct, prevail on herself to desert her husband. He had forbid her coming to him, but she chose to stay within reach of serving the father of her children.”
Lady Tinemouth, a motherly character in Jane Porter's Thaddeus of Warsaw, (1802) meekly submits when her husband wrongfully accuses her of improper conduct, thinking that the handsome stranger she met in Hyde Park must be a lover. In fact it is a down-on-his-luck Polish nobleman who has rescued her from being robbed. Her husband orders her to leave London, or else he will tell their daughter that she is a fallen woman. The heroine, Mary Beaufort, condoles with her: "It is indeed horrible; and what do you mean to do, my honored friend?"
"I will obey my lord!" returned the countess, with a meek but firm emphasis. "My last action will be in obedience to his will. I cannot live long; and when I am dead, perhaps the earl's vigilance may be satisfied; perhaps some kind friend may then plead my cause to my daughter's heart. One cruel line from her would kill me. I will at least avoid the completion of that threat, by leaving town to-morrow night."
One of Amelia Opie's heroines patiently puts up with her husband's philandering and helps pay off his debts, only to be accused by him of being obnoxiously patient and forbearing: "my parading kindness, my intruding virtue were offensive. I had humbled him; I had obliged him too much. I had towered over him in the superiority of my character; and instead of attaching, I had alienated him. This was human nature-- I saw it, I owned it now, but I was not prepared for it." (A Woman's Love/A Wife's Duty, 1820)
 Theda Bara as the wife who didn't bear and forbear (1916 movie) | The Victorian potboiler East Lynne (1861) was a tremendously popular novel and stage play which survived well into the 20th century. It involves a wife who leaves her husband, then bitterly regrets it. The narrator exhorts the reader: "Oh, reader, believe me! Lady—wife—mother! should you ever be tempted to abandon your home… whatever trials may be the lot of your married life, though they may magnify themselves to your crushed spirit as beyond the nature, the endurance of woman to bear, resolve to bear them; fall down upon your knees, and pray to be enabled to bear them—pray for patience—pray for strength to resist the demon that would tempt you to escape --bear unto death, rather than forfeit your fair name and your good conscience; for be assured that the alternative, if you do rush on to it, will be found worse than death.” |
Lady Ann welcomes her husband's daughter by a first marriage Although Mr. Palmer of Sense & Sensibility is by no means so reprehensible a husband, we are reminded that the same scenario can be played for comedy as well as tragedy. Mr. Palmer is rude and dismissive of his wife, and her response is to "laugh heartily" when her mother reminds him that he is married for life. "The studied indifference and the discontent of her husband gave [Mrs. Palmer] no pain; and when he scolded or abused her, she was highly diverted."
When I read the play The Deserted Daughter (1795), I was honestly confused as to whether I was reading tragedy or comedy. The injured wife, Lady Ann, was so over-the-top, I thought her scenes were supposed to be played for laughs. Then I read the contemporary reviews and saw that, no, while her servant is a stock comic character, the wife is not a comic character.
Lady Ann swans around making speeches like: “What is the test of an affectionate wife? It is that, being wronged, her love remains undiminished, having cause of complaint, she scorns to complain, convinced that any misery is more welcome than the possibility of becoming the torment of her bosom’s Lord!”
Her servant Mrs. Sarsnet snarls: “He is a barbarian Turk! And so I as good as told him.”
Mrs. Sarsnet intercepts a letter to Lady Ann’s husband, but Lady Ann returns it to him without looking at it. “The heart, which I cannot secure by affection, I will not alienate by suspecting,” she tells him.
Mordent: Pshaw! Meekness is but mockery, forbearance insult.
Lady Ann: How shall I behave? Which way frame my words and looks, so as not to offend? Would I could discover?...
Mordent: Ay, ay! Patience on a monument…
Lady Ann also offers to turn over her marriage settlements to her husband to help him out of his financial difficulties. In the end, they are reconciled and Mr. Mordent admits: “Let me do her justice; She is a miracle of forbearance. I have hated and spurned at the kindness I did not deserve. Her perseverance in good has been my astonishment and my torture.”
Mrs. Pope, the actress who originated the role, was known for her Shakespearean and tragic parts, so I guess she played it straight. Adding to my confusion is that in the afterward (a comic soliloquy given at the end of a play), Mrs. Pope comes out and winks at the audience: yeah, we know that this is completely unrealistic...
When I read the play The Deserted Daughter (1795), I was honestly confused as to whether I was reading tragedy or comedy. The injured wife, Lady Ann, was so over-the-top, I thought her scenes were supposed to be played for laughs. Then I read the contemporary reviews and saw that, no, while her servant is a stock comic character, the wife is not a comic character.
Lady Ann swans around making speeches like: “What is the test of an affectionate wife? It is that, being wronged, her love remains undiminished, having cause of complaint, she scorns to complain, convinced that any misery is more welcome than the possibility of becoming the torment of her bosom’s Lord!”
Her servant Mrs. Sarsnet snarls: “He is a barbarian Turk! And so I as good as told him.”
Mrs. Sarsnet intercepts a letter to Lady Ann’s husband, but Lady Ann returns it to him without looking at it. “The heart, which I cannot secure by affection, I will not alienate by suspecting,” she tells him.
Mordent: Pshaw! Meekness is but mockery, forbearance insult.
Lady Ann: How shall I behave? Which way frame my words and looks, so as not to offend? Would I could discover?...
Mordent: Ay, ay! Patience on a monument…
Lady Ann also offers to turn over her marriage settlements to her husband to help him out of his financial difficulties. In the end, they are reconciled and Mr. Mordent admits: “Let me do her justice; She is a miracle of forbearance. I have hated and spurned at the kindness I did not deserve. Her perseverance in good has been my astonishment and my torture.”
Mrs. Pope, the actress who originated the role, was known for her Shakespearean and tragic parts, so I guess she played it straight. Adding to my confusion is that in the afterward (a comic soliloquy given at the end of a play), Mrs. Pope comes out and winks at the audience: yeah, we know that this is completely unrealistic...
| And now, thrice gentle friends, our plotting ended, We hope you’re pleased –at least, not much offended. Surely, you’ll own it was a little moving To see a modern wife so very loving! Who deems the marriage vow a thing expedient, And is at once meek, faithful, and obedient. Such whims were common in the Golden Age But still they may be met with –on the Stage But grant they now are false, past contradiction, We hope they yet may be endured—in fiction |  Mrs. Pope emoting in The Gamester |
So, even though not everyone seriously supposedly that all wives should "bear and forbear," the fact is that exaltedly virtuous heroines like Lady Ann were mainstream figures in plays and literature during the long 18th century. Another example--aimed at young readers--in the next post.
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